Doritos Over Dudes

And Alice is Fine With That

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

Alice works at the Chameleon Cafe

A coffee bar downtown

A place where she is known for her superior latte art

Not to mention her creative hairstyles

She is smart

And hardworking

With bright blue eyes that often get her into trouble

She’s good at money

Is an excellent friend

But Alice is terrible with men

At thirty-one, she has a string of failed relationships as long as her arm

Among them is Peter — the vegan poet with whom she trekked through Guatemala — a man whose polished tongue couldn’t camouflage his tarnished spirit

Then came Derrick — the pretty city boy with an ugly past

And finally, Rob — the one she’d almost married — and the one who turned out to prefer her brother, over her

I’m done with men, she tells John, a Chameleon regular, one morning in January

No. Not you, John says. You’re too young

I’m serious, Alice argues. I’m fine on my own

I eat ramen for breakfast